please be patient with me!

by Daniel A. Kaufman

To the EA readership:

My father has once again been hospitalized for the effects of Congestive Heart Failure.  I will be traveling to New York this Friday.  Please be patient with me, as content and discussion moderation may be a bit less efficient than usual.  I greatly appreciate it!

I wrote an essay about his condition and what has happened to him here:

The Best Choice One Could Make (and the Worst Outcome One Could Imagine)

Much love to you all. EA is one of the great joys in my life.

–Dan K.






36 responses to “please be patient with me!”

  1. s. wallerstein

    All my best. Wishing your father a swift and complete recovery!

  2. Peter Smith

    I know you will be fealing pain, fear and dread. My thoughts go out to you with sympathy. My best wishes go to you that you may have strength. My hope is that you find peace, reconciliation and acceptance.

  3. Peter Smith

    EA is one of the great joys in my life

    I am so glad to hear that. It is a well deserved joy.

  4. Peter Smith

    In your “Best Choice…” essay you said

    For now, all that I can do is pray, in whatever way an atheist like me can: for my father, and for our family; that at a minimum, he should not suffer,

    Once again I hope you can pray. CS Lewis once said that we don’t pray to change God but to change ourselves.

    Thus prayer is for all. Prayer is an internal narrative, a dialogue with ourselves, that orders the pain, distress, disappointment, and confusion in our lives, making sense of it so that we can successfully adapt. Prayer reaches down deep into our intuitions, allowing them to surface and guide us.

  5. Thank you, my friend.

  6. Thank you my friend.

  7. s. wallerstein

    You never can tell with these situations.

    My father, age 96, was hospitalized for heart problems. They told him that it was all over and he left the hospital because he wanted to die at home. In spite of what the doctors said, he lived for another year, he needed oxygen, but with oxygen he was lucid, capable of arguing politics (which he loved to do), reading the New York Times every day, using email, etc.

  8. All hope for the best. I know the burden is heavy, but you will deal with it. Take your time, do as you feel you must.

  9. Azin

    Amen Peter. We all wish Dan and his family strength and a peaceful resolution.

  10. Thank you, my friend

  11. Best of luck, Dan. And I know this is a small consolation, but that’s a great picture of your dad.

  12. Thank you my friend

  13. Rageforthemachine

    We’re all here to support you in your time of need Daniel. You provide a great service to allow both professionals and us dilettantes to partake in our favorite subject. We are grateful and our thoughts go out to you and your family in this difficult time.

  14. Thank you so much!

  15. jofrclark

    My thoughts and prayers go with you and your family. Thanks for all the work you do on EA

  16. That is very kind. Thank you.

  17. Jay Jeffers

    I don’t frequently comment (yet) but I’m glad to hear that EA is such a joy in your life, as I have found it highly edifying and enriching.

    You and your father will be in my thoughts. Take your time.

  18. Thank you! That is very kind.

  19. Ira Glazer

    A refuah shleima to your father, haver.

  20. Thank you, my friend.

  21. I’m very sorry to hear everything you and your family are going through right now. I’m wishing you the best.

  22. Thank you. That is very kind.

  23. Matthew Sutherland


    Forgive the familiarity of address from a longtime lurker (based in Melbourne, Australia). I so admire the lucidity of your thought in its spoken and written forms (admiration of course not always being synonymous with agreement).

    My life is increasingly given over to easing the physical and mental decline of my elderly parents, and I’ve been deeply moved – and greatly consoled – by your periodic references to this most traumatic rite-of-passage in your own life. In EA articles and Sophia dialogs (particularly the most recent with Crispin Sartwell), you’ve given voice to thoughts and feelings which the morally unimaginative might reflexively condemn – until they travel the path themselves. In such trying personal circumstances, you still exemplify intellectual clarity and moral honesty. I thank God for that, and you.


  24. What a kind thing to say. Thank you.

  25. My thoughts go your way.

    I lost my dad years ago, and feel very lucky for recent years connecting with my mom and those that may remain. We almost lost her this past year, but she has recovered well from a major heart surgery past age 80. I just hope whatever proceeds it isn’t overly difficult for you and your family.

  26. Thank you. Alas, it is about the worst that it can be. The only thing worse would be if we were poor on top of it.

    There is no final time together. No resolution of a life’s relationships. Just grinding misery, anger, and a seemingly endless disintegration.

    You were very lucky.

  27. s. wallerstein

    Sorry to hear that…

  28. I appreciate it, my friend. Thank you.

  29. s. wallerstein

    You probably don’t need my suggestions, but might it not help to write a short essay for the Electric Agora about who your father was and is and what he meant and means to you? Maybe with some photos of him because to understand someone it helps to see what he or she looks like.

  30. I am going to. But I hesitate to do so while he is still alive.

    I am also working with him on a book on his life in Germany, Israel, and the US.

  31. s. wallerstein

    I understand…That makes a lot of sense.

  32. Dan, you talked about your ambivalent (if that’s the right word) feelings in that recent discussion with Crispin Sartwell. I understand entirely. Look after yourself.

  33. Thank you, my friend. I will.

  34. Just getting to this now. So very sorry to hear it….. Hoping your burden is eased by the many people who love and care about you and your family. You have all my best wishes.

  35. Thank you my friend!